How Dare You?

8 Habits I Stole From Insanely Successful People

Season 1 Episode 13

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0:00 | 18:15

What if success isn't about working harder… but about what you do every single day without thinking?

A few years ago, I started getting into rooms with people who were making more money, moving faster, and playing at a completely different level. 8 and 9-figure entrepreneurs, VC owners, book authors.

I kept thinking… "What do they know that I don't?"

It wasn't strategy. It wasn't some secret funnel. It wasn't even talent.
It was how they showed up daily.

The habits.
The standards.
The decisions they made without hesitation.

In this episode, I'm breaking down the 8 habits I've "stolen" from the most successful people I know. If you're doing the work but not seeing it compound yet… this is where to start.

SPEAKER_00

If you want to transform your life, this video is for you. So in this video, I'm gonna be walking you through eight different habits that you can use to completely change your life. Now, these are the same habits that I have used to literally go from making$2.60 an hour to building multiple six and seven-figure businesses. These are also some of the habits that I see very, very successful people doing. Now, I'm fortunate enough to be friends with a lot of very successful people, seven and eight-figure business owners. My husband is in a mastermind group with literally like VC founders, successful book authors, like presidents of massive companies. And I've had a chance to also be in masterminds and interact with a lot of very successful people. And what I've noticed is their success, their habits for success, can be distilled into a few things that you can start applying. And so in today's video, I wanted to break down some of these habits so that you can apply it in your life. So the very first thing is who not how. Now I've spoken about this before and I've created content around this. And the reason why I love this particular habit is because I think it is a hack to anything. If you are feeling unmotivated to, let's say, go to the gym, all you have to think is, who do I have to be? And if you truly ask yourself that question and be 100% honest about that, you know that in order to lose the 10, 20 pounds that you have set yourself as a goal, you need to be a person who is committed, who follows through a new word, who is an athlete who will just go and get it done. If you are feeling unproductive, it's the same thing. Ask yourself, who do I have to be in order to actually get my business off the ground, in order to finish this presentation? Whatever it is, ask yourself who not how. Because a lot of the times we are focused on the how. If we want to grow a business, we are like, okay, but how? We want to lose weight, how? But actually, a quicker hack to that is you just focusing on the who. Who do you have to be? And really playing around with the concept of outsourcing decisions from your future self. Because if you make it a habit to do this, I guarantee that your life will change. Because a lot of the times we are making decisions based on where we are currently. I am lazy, I'm not feeling like it, I don't want to do this. But when you start outsourcing your decisions to your future self, you and the way you act will naturally change. And so this is an easy hack that you can instantly add into your habit routine by asking yourself, who not how? Now, the second thing that I have here is cut out negativity. And this could be a little bit controversial, but this is actually something that I am so proud that my husband and I do very well. We are very good at cutting out negativity, and by negativity I mean this in the most cutthroat way. People, things, um, habits, all of these things, if they are not adding value to us, then we cut it out. Now, what do I mean by this? We stopped listening to news unless it is directly affecting our business. We don't really speak and hang out with people who like to gossip. You know, this is something that I personally decided that I wasn't going to be available for. I wasn't going to be available for relationships where people are all they do is just talk about each other and there's no nothing constructive. I've also cut out people in my life who all they do is complain. I call these like energy vampires. And so I am so selective about my circle, who I let in, who I spend time with. Whenever Tom and I go through our massive influxes in business, we usually cut out television. We stopped watching and doing things that aren't necessarily feeding back into our main goal. And so for us, we usually limit television to watching them in the weekends. If so, we'll probably watch like one movie. But before we would like binge watch a couple of shows here and there. We wanted to focus on our business, on our growth, on our success. And none of those things were adding value. And so ask yourself what are the things that I need to eliminate? You need to be brutal with who is in your circle. You need to be able to protect your peace and audit your circle. And so we're so selective with the people that we hang out with. And successful people are exactly the same way because you are the sum of who you hang out with. And so if you are hanging with fit people, then you are naturally going to get abs. If you are hanging around with people who all they do is gossip and drink, then you're gonna form the same habits. This is physiology, right? And so we adapt to the people that we are around. And so a great hack is literally to audit your circle, find out who you're surrounding yourselves with, make sure that their thought patterns, their goals, their beliefs are all in line with where you want to go. And the third habit of very successful people is they can make decisions fast. Now, I used to be a very indecisive person, and this is something that I've been working on consistently over the last couple of years, and I realized that my indecision is really because I was never taught to trust my own voice. You know, as good girls, we were raised to always look at a figure of authority, to always get validation from other people. And this is exactly the thing that I talk about in my book, How Dare You. It is unwinding and really rock solid in your self-trust. And if you have a rock solid sense of self-trust, you will be able to make decisions faster. Now, a rule of thumb that Tom and I started implementing is can I live with this decision being wrong? And if you can answer that question, then you know that you shouldn't spend too much time in actually making the decision and just going for it because you will never actually know if it's the right decision or the wrong decision. And so a lot of the times what we do is we sit down, we look at the facts, we look at what data we have to make this decision, we make the decision knowing that can we live with this decision being wrong? Chances are yes, because nothing is really life or death. And then from there you go forward. You always need to make sure that you are making an informed decision based on facts that you have and you're not just acting out of emotion. This is another very, very key trait that successful people have when they're making decisions. They are making decisions logically, intuitively, but never just emotionally. And there is a difference between intuitive decisions and emotional decisions, because emotional decisions are you at the peak of your emotions and you're angry, you're sad, you're upset, and you just make a rash decision. But intuitive decisions, especially for women, this is where you are able to lean back and you just have this knowing, you have this pull, and you instinctively know what decision to make. And those decisions actually sometimes lead to the best outcomes. When you are following your intuition, and this is very, very particular for female heart-led founders. When you are able to follow your intuition, it usually leads you to the right place. Now, there is a very clear difference between your intuition and your subconscious trying to keep you safe, and you need to be able to determine the difference of both. The fourth one is invest. Successful people make it a habit to invest in themselves, in other people, in their friendships, in their growth. And this is just something that is a non-negotiable. You know, in during our most successful periods of growth in our lives and our business, this is when we've had literally a mentor for our health. We have a health coach, a mindset coach, a business coach. And because we know that being supported, being surrounded by people, we call this building out our Avengers team, is so important. And so if you are the type of person where you are still double thinking, am I actually worth investing in? I want you to again outsource decisions from your future self. Ask yourself, if I was already in this level, what and this is this doesn't just apply in business. If you are talking about your health, ask yourself, do I need to invest in my health? What are the things that I need to do? For example, I'm thinking of traveling to the US, and while I'm there, I want to invest in my health. I want to invest in hormone testing, I want to test my gut, like all the tests that is available. And I started researching and it came out to like$2,000. And I was just like, okay, that's a sizable amount, but I know that as long as I keep investing in myself, in my health, that will that will compound, that will actually give me a better ROI than spending on things that I don't necessarily need. And so successful people know and understand the power of investment and they are willing to continuously invest in themselves, in their business, and in others. Successful people know that their network is also equivalent to their net worth. And so if you understand the power in investing in people, you will actually show up for your friends. You will actually show up and build relationships with people. You will put yourself in rooms where you can network with other powerful people. And so for me, I am currently attending a retreat in LA. It's gonna be in Malibu in this gorgeous like million, million dollar home. I know that because I'm investing in myself and in other people, well, that will return an income. I know that when I invest in friends, I cultivate friendships, I show up for my friends because I know that somewhere along the way, that will come back to me in tenfold as well. Now, the fifth one is a very, very important one. And this is stop outsourcing your self-concept to other people. Now, successful people have a rock solid sense of self. And this is cultivated by following through on their word, building evidence on who they are, and then continuing this. And so I say this all the time: you need like this flywheel, right? If you want to keep growing your sense of self, your self-worth, you need a flywheel. But oftentimes, the flywheel for a lot of people looks like I do the thing, I seek validation. If I don't get that validation, I stop doing the thing. When actually you need to keep doing the thing and kind of just skip the validation part because you are doing the thing and building the evidence, and then that results into the action, right? And so a lot of the times people are like, okay, I am going to be so rock solid in my trust as long as I get the likes, as long as I get the sales, as long as I hit the high cash flow months. But actually, the self-trust is done and is built by following through in your word, by repeatedly creating evidence that you are doing the action. And how do you create the evidence by repeatedly doing the action, even if it does not result to your ideal results straight away? You keep you keep doing the action, you keep putting in the reps, and then eventually that will result in you getting the evidence. And so a lot of the times people outsource their self-worth to social media, to people around them, to the opinions of others. And just know that if you're constantly doing this, you are your happiness, your inner compass, who you are and how happy you are is always reliant on others. When really the most important thing is for this to be an inner job, for you to actually look inward and start building your trust in yourself. The sixth habit that I have here is I always make sure that self-care, play, and rest are actually baked into my routine. Now I am a big believer that there should be a balance. Now, this is going to be contrary to what a lot of the bros think and how a lot of people run their businesses because a lot of businesses are just like optimization for productivity. But I actually think that the most balanced, happy, and successful people are those that know how to introduce play, rest, and self-care into their weekly habits. So, for example, we do wacky Wednesdays. During Wednesdays, my husband and I take half day off from work and we do fun activities. When we were living in Bali, it was getting a massage, playing paddle, playing paddle, getting a massage, and then we would all go out for sushi. This was our wacky Wednesday routine because you actually taking time off work and taking time to just be creative, to be in the energy of play, this is where you will come up with your best ideas. You know, a lot of people think that the best ideas are born in the office, or the best ideas are when you're at your desk and you're working. No, actually, I get my best ideas when I am out there, when I'm walking and living life and have time to think, have time to just be. Like for me, it's walks. I go on a lot of walks, I spend a lot of time in nature, I play sports, um, massages, self-care. These are rituals and habits that I have baked into my routine that has in return helped me become a more successful person. Okay, and the seventh one is create more than consume. I have made it a habit to create more rather than consume because it is so easy to go down this rabbit hole of just looking at Instagram, of scrolling and being like, let me just research. I'm looking for inspiration. But actually, all you're doing is you are just feeding your brain and giving it dopamine versus setting aside time to actually create before you start consuming. A lot of the times people mistake the consuming for the work. This is the same thing I told a client. I was just like, a lot of the time people mistake investing as the work. Just because you invest in a thing in a mentor, it doesn't mean that you're actually doing the work. So a lot of people, they were like, I'm going to invest because that makes them feel good, that makes them feel like they're taking action. But really, for something to work, if you want to massively transform your life, you need to bake in habits where you are able to do the action first and then you consume. So this goes for anything. If you are trying to lose weight, you cannot just be watching weight loss videos or you cannot just be watching workout videos because that is actually just tricking your head and going, oh yeah, you've done the workout. You feel good about yourself. Oh, I'm being healthy because all I'm doing is researching healthy things. But actually, it does not work that way. So make sure that you create versus consume or you take action versus you consume. It's the exact same thing. The last one is very similar to the self-trust, is keep your commitments to yourself. This is a key habit that has massively transformed my life. I do not snooze my alarms anymore. I have, if I say I'm going to be waking up at this time, I'm going to be waking up at that time. If I say I'm going to go to the gym, I will go to the gym even though it's the last thing that I want to do. Why? Because my promises to myself is sacred. If you want to transform your life, the best way to build self-trust is this. If you need to keep the promises that you say to yourself, and then you need to make sure that there is always a follow-through in everything that you do. Because a lot of the times we are living in an age where we are surrounded by so much information. And actually, these key habits here, if you take the time to actually implement this in your life, you can drastically transform the person that you are now. And I know this from experience because I have literally transformed my life over and over again. You know, I come from the Philippines. I was literally from a third world country making minimum wage. I did not have any online skills. And yet a decade later, I have built multiple successful businesses. I have sold a business. I have helped and coached thousands of people. And this all came about because I it started within me. It started with habits that I started to make non-negotiable in my life if I wanted to be a success. So if you have any comments, like, comment, share. I would love to hear from you. If any of these habits stood out to you, comment below and I'll see you in the next video.